Farewell To May

So had consultation today, the comments given weren't bad. Just to summarise my thoughts here, the canopy has to flow down instead of penetrating into the HDB. The frosted roof currently looks like a piece of plane covering the top, so maybe, have some frosted glass on some pockets of the openings. After all, they'll still maintain what I wanted, the silhouette feel. For the supporting elements, I was suggested to use trusses. Yup. I guess I'll bring the same but edited model for Interim 01. I'll touch up the model today and do the drawings tomorrow at 7am! Yes! 7am! I'm gonna wake up at 6:30am. :)

"Don't be jealous of the others, but be proud of what they do not have that is in you." - I'm going to have birdnest soup soon. Hahahaha.

P.S. I am happy because I do not gossip on others and I don't dislike anyone. I pity those who are always in bad mood because they just like to pick on that person. What's the point? So, the moral of this paragraph is to be optimistic and be grateful in all ways, you'll live a better life than those who are always unhappy. Smiles! :D

Instant Noodles For Breakfast

There isn't bread in the house and I can't eat biscuits as I have an ulcer in my throat, so I've cooked noodles. :)

40 minutes to go before I bathe and prepare for school. I've just edited somethings in my previous AutoCAD drawing, after that I still feel that there isn't a point since my new model really look different from the drawing. I'll take a cab to school at 9:30am, then go to the library to borrow some books for case study. Most probably buy back lunch then draw my current model.

But pin-up is at 3pm. -.-"

Friday A Busy Day

I woke up at 3am knowing that I wasn't feeling too well. Took my temperature, it was 38 degrees Celsius. So I ate 2 Extra Strong Panadols then went back to sleep. I woke up at around 7am and I'm feeling so much better already. So went to meet my competition group at 9am at Burger King, only Sihui and me were on time. Bought BK breakfast, the one I always eat! Ended the meeting at noon, exactly. Went to PAGE ONE sales after that at Kakit Bukit. It was so warm. -.-" Only a book caught my attention. Not architectural type, but cooking recipe. Haha. I bought this very nice Spaghetti book, which has 130 recipes. The layout of the contents is so interesting and comprehensive. It cost $11.90 after 30% discount. :)

So went home after that and now I'm waiting for my pizza to be ready. Lunch at 4:15pm... Anyway, there's mold at the bottom of the Mozzarella cheese! I had to throw the whole packet away. What a waste. After lunch, I'll be doing my Project 4. May inspiration and excitement come back to me! Be surprised! Expect the unexpected me again! HAHAHA!

P.S. I'll not let it affect my school work!

Whole Body Aching...

Yesterday's Pulau Ubin trip was just so fun! Completed almost 3/4 of the island. I really can't wait to go during the low tide season in October! Though we were really sticky and dirty, but it was worth the whole journey. Really saw a lot and experienced a lot. After the 5 hours plus of cycling up and down hill, I was totally dead... My butt hurts sitting on the bicycle seat! So do most people. Haha. After reaching home, I bathed and did my model. Imagine that. We had to do it for tomorrow's pin-up. This is the life of a designer. Sleepless nights, buying super expensive materials from ArtFriend, printing super expensive storyboards and spending money to take cab most of the time. For personal study, we do buy books that cost up to a 100bucks for a book. Design courses really cost a lot. It is different from buying textbooks, sometimes passing down from seniors to juniors. It is really a bid investment. Think twice whether you are willing to stay up the entire night or nights, spending more than 200 a month just for submission then that's it, over. Hahaha. It is never easy to be in Design School.

I'm scarying you but its real!

Yup. So went to school in the morning, reached before 9am. Was drawing my design and then poof! 12pm and I am done. So pin-up at 3pm, reviewed and given comments by the lecturers. I consulted Malcolm before the pin-up, he really taught me and gave me tips on how to rationalize the design. Consulted my peers and they gave me ideas too. The ideas given really helped to strengthen my design proposal. I'm happy. However, got to do model and drawings over the weekend again. Anyway, will be meeting the competition group for "Just Bin It" tomorrow morning at 9am at Burger King. I miss the breakfast! We used to eat at Whitesands. Haha.

After school, we left for Tampines 1 for dinner. Had Subway, Cold Cut Trio, as usual. Then headed to Century Square NTUC Finest. I bought Portobello and instant Pizza. I shall not have to worry for Saturday's and this coming Monday's breakfast! Oh man... I really like how we used to shop in NTUC. Like aunty and uncle. Haha.

It is 9:30pm now, I shall do some work before sleeping at 11pm then waking up at 7am tomorrow! Healthy healthy! :) I guess I'll be doing the planting of existing trees. Hahahaha! I really need my inspiration and motivation back please. I feel that I am no longer thinking. I used to be so excited in doing a lot, seriously, a lot and show it to my lecturers. I used to be super hardworking, producing extra informations or whatever. However, I'm so toned down now. What's happening to me. I want and I need that spark that keeps me going strong, with full of ideas and able to rationale my design. Where have they been. I'm doing what the lecturers say. I want to have my own touch to my design. When will I find it again?

P.S. Am I scarying you away or too annoying?

What What What?

I don't like the feeling of doing something which I know is not final but I just had to do it because of submission. The design is not there yet, I don't like it and there will be changes. What's the point of drawing those tedious lines, creating those troublesome layers, cracking the brain to do plan, section and elevation and finally, printing out. It seems like doing the design on soft copy, then making models by copying from those drawings, and what if the model looks awful. I just don't like it, but I have to do it. Freaking irritating. -.-"

Right! I can't open my drawings! I shall reach at 8:20am, buy breakfast and reach studio at 8:30am on Thursday. Hope I've got enough time to do. Shall do my model tomorrow then.

P.S. I keep thinking of you... :|

Write The Future?

Hmm. Maybe plans for future. Who can predict what happens in future. Hahaha. :)

I opened my fridge just now, saw the spagetti and mozerella cheese still in there. The mozerella is expiring soon! I think I'm buying pizza someday so I can add additional chesse on top of it. Yes! For breakfast! :D

Oh. I also need to buy mushrooms, maybe prawns to make Aglio Olio. You want? Hahaha. Too bad. :x Anyway, during our first Aglio Olio attempt, it was torturous for me, because I didn't wear glove when I was cutting the chillies! I remembered complaining so much. But you comforted me and didn't get irritated by me. Hahaha. The second attempt was better. It really proves that practice makes perfect. :)

I'm thinking of going NTUC soon... :)

P.S. If we were still together, today will be our 17th months together.

Boring day...

So it was, Monday, I was freaking bored from 8am to 11am that I had decided to watch movie online. "Dear John" is so touching, good storyline and really can't keep my ears and eyes off the screen. So I was eating bee hoon(lunch) while watching. Haha. So went to bathe at 1pm. Left house at 1:50pm. Reached school at 2:40pm. Slacked till 3pm for class.

We did CP83 in AutoCAD drawings. Ivoly, Meimei and me were having fun doing the coding together. We also learnt the actual way of doing title block. So after lesson, I rushed out of school as my family were waiting for me at the drop-off point. We went downtown for dinner instead of Vivocity. Its alright. :)

As we left school and headed for Ehub, we went passed IKEA which I thought of how we used to go there for breakfast in the morning on Saturdays/Sundays. Then we drove passed the bus stop where we used to alight when we bought a lot of things from GIANT, on the right, was where you lived.

We headed home after we had sushi for dinner and the 2 kids got their train ride.

I'm back home, bathed and afresh to start doing AutoCAD drawings. Shall sleep at 11pm tonight and wake up at 7am tomorrow. While I'm here typing and going to do work, I leave your MSN window open. I really don't understand why I'm doing it. But as long as I see that you're online, I'm happy enough. Even if you're not online, I won't feel bad. :)

Alright! Hope to see you soon! Yeah? :)

Yea Yea I Know

Just to let anyone know, you are yourself, I am myself. (DUH) It depends on the individual. I can say whatever thing God has done for me and to me. But it all depends on how much you believe. It is a very personal encounter and experience. People might think that the person is crazy to give up a million dollar business to become an evangelist who goes on the street telling people about God. People might feel annoyed by Christians who call them 24/7 about God and asking him/her to go for this service, that meeting, this church event. Everyone is different. The key lies in you, whether you believe it or not, sometimes half.

I was someone who received salvation from God at the age of 11 because of my brother. He told me about Jesus who is just like a normal man sent by God. He came to die on the cross, bearing all our sins. He described about how Jesus bore the whips and the crown of thorns, how He was nailed onto the cross. I imagined it and was frightened that I cried. That was how I received my salvation.

When I was in lower Sec, I followed this lady, Christine, who led me to Generations. I was there for 2 years, changed to another zone. Got to know some new comers and had a crush with him. After breaking up, I went to another zone which has my Sec school's cell. When I'm 15, I met the wrong kind of friends. Back slided and haven't been going to church until I came to poly. Went back a few times, dislike the people. Had the longest relationship which lasted 1 year, 4 months and 12 days. Out of love, we broke up for I know it is time to go back to God. This time, I really believe in who He is and His faithfulness that never fails me. To me, it is the journey that opened my eyes to see who He really is, therefore, I trust in Him.

I've Got Joy And Peace!

Basketball cancelled? It is ALRIGHT! Hahahaha. Didn't know you read my blog. Maybe recently, AFTER SO LONG! Tsk!

So went to church this morning. So good and fresh! I can't wait for more church service! I think my perspective for going to church has changed. In the past, I thought it was a routine, I had to go.

After knowing some friends, Sundays turned out to be an outing day that I no longer head to church but to other places shopping or whatever. Soon, poly started, I began to start anew again. I did go back a couple of times in the past, but felt unwelcome. It was the generation people that do not seem to know me. I always thought that they were terrible Christians that are so good to you when you first came, after back sliding and returning, they pretend they do not know you.

After the break up with him, I began to visit the church regularly. It is not the people that I am going for. It is for what I believe is real and true. To me, He is forever faithful, the beginning and the end. No matter how difficult things are now, He is always there. I realised all this while, from the start when I back slided from God, He has been creating my testimony. I am a human, not a perfect christian, but it is possible to seek holiness and righteousness. (I'm not psychotic okay) I am glad that I returned to Him, that I chosed to give up all and follow Him again. Because I know that all the things of the earth will die and be gone, but the eternal life in Heaven is awaiting for me. (I'm not crazy) The word of God has been written for they are the true living word of God. To make it simple, they are like the journal of what God had done. It had been carried out and they are real. I am happy to be saved from hell, happy because His grace, His love, His peace, His joy, His faithfulness are everlasting. I've got the peace of mind, the joy of the Lord is my strength! Do you have any? Hahaha. :D

Yes Ming Kuang!

It has been the second week. The boys are playing basketball now, another 70 minutes before lights off. I had dinner at home and was watching 7pm show on channel 8. After the 1 hour show, I went to my room, thinking of the past again. I sat down below the window, where we used to sit together when we had nothing to do. Thinking of how you used to fall asleep lying on my cold parquet floor. Even the ugliest looking you can still be the nicest. :x After that, I on my laptop and browsed through our photos again. I could remember vividly the places which we took them and what we were doing. :)

Now, I'm waiting... Waiting for my laptop battery to be fully charged! I'll remember those movies which I had missed because you watched with your friends instead of me! So! To get back what I've lost, I'm so going to watch them tonight! Hahaha. :D

P.S. Transformer 2

I Am Happy!

Hahaha! I'm so glad that you text me! Telling me to rest early when I was ill. Happy happy! That was not the last message we had. Today you text me again. Asked me about the funeral that I attended as you are attending the same funeral tomorrow. (Dr Goh Keng Swee's)

Later, we chat on MSN. I felt so afresh when I talk to you. It really feels as though I am a close friend. I'm so glad. :D

To wrap things up, I was busy last few days and was ill as well, so I didn't do much I guess, and I was supposed to have my review today when I was told that I was chosen with some other friends to attend Dr Goh Keng Swee's funeral. He saved me today. But I still have my review tomorrow. Fortunately! I have nothing left to do! I think I am ready! Drawings and model done! Happy happy!

Okay!

I think I know, maybe not. However, I really have to say this if even anyone agrees or disagrees with me! It is mostly my fault for letting go such a sweet relationship. Yes, I said MOSTLY. Because of me, I caused you so much hurt, but you respected me and decided to let me go because you love me. So! I have decided to leave backwards. Not going back in time but reduce the days we spent together for each passing day. Counting down, still got 1 year, 4 months and 5 days. I know it does sound stupid. But that is so much I can do for you now. It is alright that you do not talk to me or whatever, I understand. Just want to say again, I'm sorry for things to become like that. I do it sincerely. :)

My greatest hope is that you'll live well, sleep more, eat regularly and be happy okay!

P.S. I hope I won't be a stalker. :x

Its Been A Week

It feels like how I waited for you in the past when you were just a recruit! 2 weeks or so without texting and calling. Haha. I really do hope that we can still talk in anyway because your quietness to me is so disturbing, as though something is stuck within me. Don't shut me up entirely as I really want to be a friend who cares and talks to you. To forget you is impossible.

I don't know how you've been doing. I've been blogging because I don't want to seek so much attention from other people just to listen to how I feel and think. At least by posting them here, people understand but won't talk to me personally. For me, it is just a way to release whatever I want to say so I won't keep so many things inside if not I'll die of depression! Haha. However, by saying it here, it lessens what I am thinking and feeling in a way that I won't keep replaying that memory.

I have no intention to offend anyone.

I had once asked you a very common question, usually a girl would ask,"what if one day your mother and me were drowning, who will you save first?" Your answer was that you'll save your mother. I was like so sad... But you followed on with,"then I'll go back into the water and die with you." That very moment I cried as I was so touched. I also remembered telling my friends about it and was about to tear again that day.

What I Think Of Now

I am forgetting the dates. I guess it is because I don't look forward for any day already. Each day passes quietly as long as I am doing my work. So quiet that I don't know when I'll get used to it. In the past, I always count each day, from the start of the week to the fifth. I can't wait because I am expecting to see you. I'm happy to walk pass interchange holding your hand.

I used to think of the problems that both of us will share in future. I used to think of how happy you made me felt that day or how disappointed I was. Since that day we broke up, my mind was so free from all the problems that I could sleep without thinking of anything.

It has been almost a week now, all the memories that we both shared kept flashing in my head. The thought of going NTUC reminded me of how we used to shop for groceries and the ingredients that we needed to buy for lunch or dinner that day. The thought of how fun it was shopping for things we like and comparing the prices. I just wonder when will I have the courage to go NTUC again, because I'm going there alone.

Well, enough of that already. The more things I say, the more I feel like crying. I'm still coping well. Thinking back, I'll still be sad but not to the extend of crying. I hope you are doing fine and I hope you would talk to me soon. :)

Starting To Treasure

The thumbdrive you gave/lent me, I'm beginning to treasure it. Though the space isn't big, 2GB, I will still use it. :)

I feel that when the person is there beside you, sometimes you may not treasure him/her, because it has been so natural that you had taken it for granted. When he/she is gone, what's left the closest to you is the thing that he/she has given you. It may be a small item like mine, but it carries a lot of memories. The thing that stays forever is the memory. :)

I'm Happy Just To See You Online

I know it is weird. But it makes me glad to see you online, not talking to me is fine. Hope that I can talk to you like normal again! :)

I Am Doing Fine! I Hope You Are Too!

Everything feels so light now. I'm really glad you let me go, because you love me. At least now I am back to my own self. Went to church today, totally engulfed by the presence of God. It really felt like home. Well, it is time to go home. To somewhere I used to be so carefree. I have left home for sometime now, really feels good to be back, especially with my family this time. They are my support! I love them! Hope you are doing well, booking in and out. Such a sociable guy, I guess you'll spend more time with your friends now. Take care! :D

The Emotions

It feels weird to see the phone lying there so quietly. It feels different for your absence. I need a break through. So many things are holding me back. I want to step out in faith!

That Is It

Since that is the way after confirming. I guess I'll have to give up totally. I shall not think of any possible way of patching anymore. Cheer me on! There is no going back! Thank you for clearing my thoughts and hope for anything to happen in future between us. I know it'll be difficult this few days. But it will worth for the future and the life ahead. You too, will not feel so burdened by me anymore. I wish you all the best. Take care and the last goodbye. :)

I Will Never Regret

Out of love we decided to let go of this relationship. I'll not regret for breaking up so soon. It has been done and set. At least we agreed peacefully not out of anger. Hope you'll find someone better than me and the right person too. :)

P.S. Don't block me off totally. Though I can no longer love you, I still care for you and want to know how you are doing. :)

What Makes Me Cry Now

It is the sweet memories of the past. It is the thought of loneliness. It is when it has been so natural that when you're gone, I don't know what to do. It is when you are always there that made me so dependent on you that now I have to depend on myself. Never getting to see you, hear you and touch you again.

Thank You

I want to thank you for loving me, missing me and taking care of me. Our life together was like roller coaster. Sad, disappointed, happy, thrilled and all the feelings that one could think of. I want thank you for being there most of the time and treating me meals or movie most of the time. You're a great person and a very loving boyfriend whom I loved so much. I thank you for you're the only one whom I had cried so much. You're the one that I've loved so deeply and more each day. You've made me mature and learn how to treasure the possible time together. I thank you for the little surprises and the little gifts. I'll keep them for they bring back our sweet moments. One day when I know I am able to start a new life, I'll not throw them away, but keep them somewhere safe where I know they are from a very very good friend. Thank you for all the things you've done for me. I'll remember you and all the things that we've been through.


NTUC - Cold Storage - IKEA - GIANT - Aunty Anne's - Whitesands - Tampines Mall - Tampines 1 - Tamp. Interchange - West Plaza - Coffeeshop - Basketball Court - Bus - Train - Raffles Place - Movie Theater - Fish Soup - Sushi Tei - Ehub - Downtown Chalet - CNY - Birthday - Making cake together - Piglets - Just so many things -

All Promises Will Be Broken Now

It is a pity. All the things that were once said happily and excitedly are going to be empty promises. The joy that both shared when making that promise has become a memory.

I Wanted You To Know

So many things you've missed out. I've cut my nails, wanted you to see how much I've trimmed. I wanted you to see my index finger which I've broke that nail accidentally. I wanted you to see how many pimples I had on my forehead. I wanted you to know I didn't have dinner yesterday night (Friday, 7/5/10). I wanted to show you my portfolio which I spent nearly 40 bucks, though I guess was the cheapest among my coursemates, but still expensive. I wanted to watch Ip Man 2 with you, which Ip Man 1 was the movie that we first got attached. It brought back so many memories. I wanted you to know that I've had menses yesterday, to hear you say,"rest more."

All Came Down Finally...

Photo taken on 25/12/08


You've matured. Since the first time I'm with you. I'm glad that you don't have worries for anything. I'm glad you passed your IPPT, and no more confinement, which means I can meet you on weekends. I'm glad to know you and fortunate to be your girlfriend for 1 year 4 months and 12 days. It has been my record so far. However, I'm really tired of waiting for something that will be in vain in future. I'm tired of crying and thinking about the same thing every night. Everything has changed. I've told you before that we'll break up one day. Why not now? As the chinese always say, "Chang Tong Bu Ru Duan Tong". I won't have to think about it every night and feel like crying because you're saying goodbye after seeing me. I know it hurts. But if you love me, please let me go...

I was sad because you decided to play basketball on Firday, 7/5/10, and meet me the next day. However, there's no more next day for us. That wasn't the reason for the break up. The reason for sending it on Friday is because I can cool myself down during the weekends. I used to wait patiently for Friday every week to see you. I always spend my weekends with you. Well, all had changed. Now I have to wait for the feeling to fade and be gone. It has been done. I didn't know realationship could hurt so much... But I'll look on the bright side. Don't worry about me. I hopw you too. Take good care of yourself for I won't be there anymore. Live well and be happy. :)


P.S. I'll remember you and all the things that we did together.


Monday, 3/5/10 - Holiday today, and I met up with you for dinner. As usual, your treat. :) I didn't expect myself to cry at the interchange that day. A feeling of lost when you're gone, a feeling of missing you. I cried also because I feared for the worst for it to be the last day I get to see you, hear you and touch you. Then it was.