I thought it will be a good ending to end everything all at once. I thought it will do good for the both of us. I thought things will go back to normal in time. I have no idea what I'm doing. Am I throwing myself into the river to drown and wanting to be rescued as well? I don't know where I'm heading. Everything is falling down on me, they're just too much for me to handle.
I do things without thinking, sorry if I've forced you again. I know I did, somehow threatening you to give an answer. Why am I such a person who dug my own grave, now wanting to be dug out. In the first place, I should not have asked for it. But if I hadn't done so, I wouldn't have learnt so much. The reason for patching is not only because I still love you and that I miss you, but I want to continue this relationship with a different perspective.
In the past, I know that this relationship will not work, but at that point of time, I was always medidating on the negative side, so I decided for the break up, which I've learnt to seek further and think about my future life. I know that in future, I'll be with someone else, most likely a christian. But I feel that this thing is seriously personal. After the few weeks of reflection and missing you, I began to understand that it is not too late to continue the relationship. There are still so many years ahead. Who knows what will happen. So why not let time lead us.
However, all I need is a yes or a no from you. This marks the new start or the finale.
P.S. It really disturbs me waiting patiently, because I just can't focus with school.
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